How rewarding it is?

Today marks another milestone for Jayden. He is 11th months old. I have a few friends which tells me having childrens is not easy and too expensive. I couldnt agreed more but I also want to share some of my most rewarding moments.
Looking at my profile pic that is one moment. When I first get a glimps of little Jayden through the 3D scan I started to cry. His perfect feature and his chubbiness. I know I am already deeply in love when I knew I was pregnant but that moment it was an assurance. Now, he has grown but still the tiny little hands and feet always seems to be so tempting for me to bite. ;)
His infectious smile that everyone cant resist. Makes me melts everytime I see him light up the room first thing in morning when we are still in bed. How can you have a bad day after a dose of pure happiness. Its like a small gift from heaven to me everyday.
When you ask him to kiss you and he lean towards you with his mouth wide open. Its like he is trying to swallow your face. Though having his saliva all over my face, I am loving every bits of it. And I am not shy to ask for more kisses.
He is talkative like mummy. So at time when he mumble with his baby language is amazingly funny and all you wish is that you can understand him.
I feel such a proud mommy that everyone will tell me how cute he is. Secretly, I thank god for giving him to me. I suppose I have done something real good to have this little cutey boy.
There is more to share but too "much" in a blog, one thing which I recently experience is having to do the right thing for him. When expert says thats the correct teaching or doing, its rewarding to me because it makes me a better mom and help me to be more confident.
I thank you god for my Jayden, he is indeed a blessing to us and with hope other will also experience my joy with Jayden around. I think I have a "giving" baby, always spreading his sweet happy smile and love. I cant express much on how rewarding to have him but I can tell you how thankful I am that I will trade anything for him to be happy and healthy.

New year and new milestone

Been awhile since i posted anything about my sweet journey with baby jayden. i must say i drown myself with work and its been quite a fast half year for me. i was part of the retrenchment exercise but luckily i managed to secured a job before the contract ends. being in a new company there is always new things to learn, new challenges, new friend and more. coming from nearly jobless and with a son i started to put 200% effort to my work so i can feel secure. time does fly when you are busy but it does gets abit overwhelm at times.
i started to spend less time with jayden but never missed any of his new tricks. there are moments when i feel guilty for working late but then again why should i? i am doing this so he could have a better life is not like i enjoy working. if i have a choice i would prefer to sleep or watch tv. alot of parents sometimes blame themselves for working hard but of course you must know your limits. here is something from 2009 that's worth to remember...

What did i learned from year 2009?
1. to love unconditionally
2. hardwork does pay off
3. life is what you make off
4. be nice to yourself and you will learn to be nice to others
5. its ok if i need a break
6. don't be a hero and try to solve everyone's problem
7. its ok to be soft hearted to other people as long as it makes me happy
8. i "am" better than alot of people
9. accepting the fact that is hard to make some ppl happy
10. stop trying to understand mum and dad

What have i achieved in 2009?
1. have a baby
2. new job
3. gave a birthday blast to my mum
4. lost weight
5. have more savings
6. spend more time with my siblings
7. met new friends
8. spending money without worrying
9. collected all Jay Chou albums
10. tell my friends "i love you"

My 2010 new year resolution
1. read to my son more often
2. take my diving license
3. go taiwan
4. visit 2 islands
5. meet my sales target
6. start playing my keyboard again
7. play volleyball
8. pay half of my study loan
9. apply to aussy
10. give mum another vacation

the above is subject to changes.... ;p

Happy Mid Autumn Festival

7 months and 1 week passed by in a blink of an eye. JT has grown from 50cm to 70 cm and tripled his birth weight, almost. In another blink of the other eye, he'll be saying goodbye at the airport to further his studies abroad. This is how it feels, how most parents feel. My parents do not express their feelings towards me the way I do to JT but I'm pretty sure they felt about the same. 1 mild fever and I'm all worried and stressed. Imagine I was sick every other week growing up, my mom must have been exhausted. I want to wish all parents out there, Happy Mid Autumn Festival and tell you kids you love them.

P.S: I love you

I recently just watched the movie P.S: I love you. Is a sad movie but it tell us how love still stay even if the person is not physically there. I thought about my son and how devastated he would be if me and my hubby were to passed away. Well, ideally we hope we die together so is less painful for either one of us.

The hero of this movie sent letters to help his wife to move on and to find herself. I think is the best thing to do for someone instead of griefing for his own death. This inspired me to do the same for my son. I hope when the time comes I will be able to prepare this for him. More importantly in his last letter he said, "Thank you for the honor of being my wife", "You made me a man, by loving me.", "You made my life. But I'm just one chapter in yours". Sob.. Sob... how beautiful is that. Check this out if you want to know more http://www.moviemistakes.com/film7171/quotes.

And here is what I want to say to my son. "I am with great honour to be your mummy". "You've made mummy to be a better person", "You've filled my life with so much joy, now go find yours", "P.S: Remember that mummy will always love you".

HAPPY FATHER's DAY!!!

To all fathers in the world. THANK YOU.
To my hubby, thank you. You are the greatest father in the world. You are every father's role model. I thank god for you.
To my dad, I love you.

Amazing smile

Something amazing happened this morning. I woke up just 10 seconds before JT opened his eyes. The moment he saw me, he cracked a smile that made my heart melt. That is worth all the effort and sweat waking up a few times every night for him. To me, it's not about how hard is it for us, how much we do. It's to be thankful to have someone that makes our lives more meaningful. We should not think about how great ourselves are; sacrificing for him because he did not ask to be born. We do it out of love, not responsibilities nor investment for future returns. Babies bring happiness to us, and we do the same for them.

TTH

Is your problem not mine

I have talk to many mom and most tell me that their hubby never help in raising their children. I feel blessed and I feel angry for them and angry at them. Dads out there, come on, take responsibility. Afterall, your kids carries your name not the mother's. AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS TO WORK.
Moms out there, tell your husband that he needs to be part of this. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A SUPERMOM. Maybe I am lucky but I didnt get to where I am without an effort to ask. Well, if you are not as lucky, too bad but don't expect/think the rest of other mothers should like you.

3 months - He can recognised me... loving every min of it...sob sob ;)

My baby so big and healthy ar. Thank you god for this. I actually build muscle by carrying him. Most of my clothes sleeves is tight now. Doesnt really bother me cause I am so proud of him.

I think he can recognise me, a few times I managed to stop him from crying so hard and loud even after many attempt from others. Boy, it feels so good. Selfishly, I do wish that he only needs and wants me. Maybe by this way it makes me feel that I am doing a good job being a mom. Till now, I am still worried if I am a good mom to him. I suppose is a question that will going on forever till the day I die.

Every new things he does is like opening a new window of happiness in heart. His attempt to lift his head, his longer and louder "ang goos" or "aaa", grabbing my mouth, raising his eye brow, his giggles, doing the sucking motion when he is in his deep sleep, sleeping with his mouth open, looking good in his polo T, putting his hands together, his manja face when you hug him so tightly, sitting quietly on the car sit ... all this little things. Moments that even camera cant really capture the real feeling. Is the moment when I tell myself that he is my purpose life. Moments when I know I must have done something right to deserve this. These are the moments of my life.

He is getting better looking as he grows. I can never thank god enough for his good looks. Thank you.

I can't wait for more sweet memories to be kept safely and surely in my heart. I love you, my cute son.

Month 3

It's been 1 whole month since I got back to work. I mean, started my new role, having to deal with brand new team of people. It was a total craziness in the first 2 weeks but as I'm starting to get a hang of things, it's not that tough afterall.

JT is growing day by day, very well. His unique characters are starting to show. He's a happy baby when he gets enough sleep, milk and poo well but extremely vocal whenever he's not feeling comfortable or having a stomachache. He can cry your roof off just because he needs to be burped. He likes constant noise while sleeping instead of a quiet environment. When it's too quiet, a pin drop would wake him up, he's very alert and sensitive. But with the TV on, he can sleep like a baby, literally....hehe...He is very manja and wants hugs and attention all the time. Leave him alone for 2 minutes and he'll start scolding you - not crying just yet, but scolding, for good 5 minutes before he starts crying. As soon as you pick him up, he stops shouting immediately. He sweats a lot especially when drinking milk. If you lay him down on your thigh while feeding, sometimes you can really see sweat flowing down or a patch of wet sweat on your pants. He loves it a lot when you face a fan directly at him with strong wind blowing. As much as his smiles bringing him the ultimate power over us, his frowns will get him anything he wants. He is just too cute to say no to. Someone said his eyes are the least attractive of all of him but I think I spend more time looking at them then anything else because they are different everytime he blinks and I'll never have enough of them. At 3 months of age, he is bigger than most of his peers or even weighs the same as other babies at 6 months old. That's because he is going to grow taller and healthier than many others.

TTH

I am going to win lottery, I just know it.

2 months has passed. It was as fast as a shooting star, passes you by without you noticing and yet its beautiful and magical at the same time.
This 2 months was one of the best days of my life. Spending those quality time with my son is priceless. He has grown so well and I feel like a proud mommy. Though we have a long way to go but I really really ... I mean really want to be with him every single moment. Not wanting to miss anything about him. During these last couple of days, I know I have been really emotional. Crying and laughing as I already start to miss him dearly.
I am excited to go back to work but I suppose is not enough to be away from him. He is my dear angel that looks exactly like his daddy. I am truly blessed but I think I deserve more than this. Or at least I want more than 2 months. I will win my lottery and be with him. ;p
My son, my baby, my king. I love you and I will miss you so much.
Mommy will work something out. I promise.

I wish.........

I’ve been blessed to be able to enjoy so much fun time at home for the past few weeks. Everyday was a new experience and new learnings. There is no such thing as “routine”. Each day was a different day, feeding time, changing time, crying time…….just when you think you’ve read so many articles about how to take good care of a baby, they will just pull something out that you are totally not prepared. It’s frustrating not knowing how to calm him down when he’s crying after trying everything from feeding to changing to dummy to carrying positions……I wish I know it all.

TTH

Do you have a good support system?

No one tells you that caring for a child is easy. That's why you need a good and strong support system. I think we have one and just moment ago I feel really blessed. I suppose we did good though both having only little sleep. Each of us now understands what needs to be done and doing the next things for each other really works. Example, changing diapers - daddy hold the baby, I go prepare for warm water. I pump milk, he stores it and wash up. All this without being asked to do. Makes life easier for both. The keys is we are always ready for one another and helping each other on the next task that comes along. Small things to big things. One at the time.
My first few days and weeks was tough. One things for sure is keeping my temper down was not easy. Feeding, changing diapers and pumping milk, man... how hard it is right? haha... trust me is more than that. You will get angry, you will feel like killing each other but STOP, KEEP COOL and EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
Ladies, this is important. If you are going to have a baby soon and planning to, make sure you have a supportive husband. Well, not that you already don't know. Anyways, is a partnership that needs understanding, open to each other, patience, compromising and most importantly you need love (you must love your child and love each other). Why? Because when things gets really tough, you always need to remind yourself that you love one another. Both has good intentions and just need to work it out. TELL HIM or HER THAT YOU LOVE HIM or HER ALL THE TIME. It does really help.
You can't do it alone, ask for help. If you don't have a partner that is willing to do this, doesnt matter. Get your mom, relatives, friends or external help. Just get a good support team ready, your child needs it. Not only you, but for your child too.
I am also blessed with a great mom that is willing to help without complaining. She has been open to all my decisions and she helped without asking for any return. I really want to thank her and still figuring what to get her. I suppose no amount of money or present can repay the love she gave to my son, my hubby and to me. THANK YOU MUMMY, WE LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

Oh! THANK YOU BABY. WE LOVE YOU TOO ;)

Delivered 62kg, wk1=61kg (yay!), wk2=60kg, wk3=60kg, wk4=60kg (OH NO!)

What's happening? Why am I not losing weight? Well, I don't expect myself to immediate go back to my pre preggy state but 60kg? I gained 17kg and only lost 7 (baby+plasenta+water retention). So, I actually ate more for myself instead for the baby.
You thought you can exercise and eat balance diet to lose weight. Dream on, you are not allow to even lift up you hand or walk down the stair after delivery for at least 30days. Well, by right according to my trusted confinement lady (ah hem) confinement should be 100 days. Food that you eat during confinement is not going to help much either. We are suppose to eat every 4 hours.
Then again if you are breastfeeding you are required to eat good amount of calories to keep up the milk production. So, tell me how to lose weight lar. Some people tell me that breastfeeding speeds up the weight lost, but it is only a myth to me :(.

Just do it!

Time flies when you are having fun. My son is already 1 month old and I am really happy. So love every minute being with him this whole month. Reality kicks in as you realised you only have another month left of maternity leave.
Babies, they grow so fast. How I wish I can slow down the time and enjoy more of our moments together. I look forward to seeing him grow bigger and older but at the same time I am already missing the passed of him.
Many people will tells you not to hold your baby so often or hug him to sleep or even kiss him too much. Afraid that your baby may be to clinky to you or refuse to sleep without you hugging. You have germs and kissing your baby will transfer it to him. I use to say this to my sister or other mothers too. Now, all I can say to other mothers is I am so wrong and "Just do it". Hold your baby, hug them, kiss them.
No doubt that they will get used to your hugging and cuddling that they cant be without you. Whats wrong with that? If is hard for you when you are working or away in future, worry about it later. Live by the day, tomorrows problem can wait. This is what you have now, time with your baby, cherish it.
As long as it doesn't hurt him physically, read more info on what do and don't for medical reasons and also make sure that you are clean. Enjoy your time with your child, trust me is not enough.

His sleeping song

i love you
you love me
we're a happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss* from me to you
won't you say you love me too?

jayden teoh
jayden teoh
i am baby jayden teoh
i love mummy and daddy
and they love me too
i am baby jayden teoh